Silicon Glen > Jokes
Scottish jokes

A Scotsman stranded on a desert island comes across a woman who has washed up onto shore. The Scotsman helps the woman and welcomes her to the island.

Later on that day, the woman says, "I don't suppose you smoked before you were stranded on this island, did you?"

The Scotsman explains that he most certainly did smoke before becoming stranded on the island. So, the woman produces a cigarette from her bag, and they enjoy a smoke together.

A little later, the woman says, "I don't suppose you drank before you were stranded on this island, did you?"

The Scotsman explains that he most certainly did drink before becoming stranded on the island. So, the woman produces a flask from her bag, and they enjoy a drink together.

Some time later, the woman says, "So, you've been on this island for ten years without a woman, huh?"

"That's right," says the Scotsman.

The woman continue, "I don't suppose you'd like to play around?"

"Good God lady," exclaimed the Scotsman, "you have a set of golf clubs in that bag too?!?!'

____________________

In the back woods of Scotland, Iain's wife went into labour in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.

To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said: "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world.

"Whoa there Iain!" said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down...I think there's yet another wee one to come yet."

Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a bonnie lass.

"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, lad...It seems there's yet another one besides!" cried the doctor.

Then Iain scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor: "Do ye think it's the light that's attractin' them?"


Q-HTML V3.1 by Craig Cockburn created this page on 03-Nov-2004 at 23:35:15:37