Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy, at around 3 A.M. drunk as a skunk, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up, and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.

Next morning the wife asked me what time I got in and I told her 12 o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why, she said "Well, it cuckooed 3 times, said 'oh bollocks,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more and then farted."