Silicon Glen > Jokes
Drive-thru cash point

Please note that with the arrival of the new "Drive-thru" cash point machines customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
To enable users to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances (i.e. MALE or FEMALE) and remember them for when you use the machine for the first time.


1 Drive up to the cash machine.

2 Wind down your car window.

3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5 Retrieve card, cash, and receipt

6 Wind up window

7 Drive off


1 Drive up to cash machine

2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine

3 Re-start the stalled engine

4 Wind down the window

5 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

6 Locate make-up bag and check make-up in rear view mirror

7 Attempt to insert card into machine

8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car

9 Insert card

10 Insert card the right way up

11 Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page

12 Enter PIN.

13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

14 Enter amount of cash required

15 Re-check make up in rear view mirror

16 Retrieve cash and receipt

17 Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside

18 Place receipt in back of cheque book

19 Re-check make-up again

20 Drive forwards 2 metres

21 Reverse back to cash machine

22 Retrieve card

23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided

24 Re-check make-up

25 Restart stalled engine and pull off

26 Drive for 3 to 4 miles

27 Release hand brake

Q-HTML V3.1 by Craig Cockburn created this page on 03-Nov-2004 at 23:35:15:37